so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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