the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
