i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
