so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
