respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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