Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
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