So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
