similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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