his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
