it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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