you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
