Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
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