I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
