Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
