lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
this will be a night to untag.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
