Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
