i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Randomize
