i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
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