SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Randomize
