omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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