Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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