I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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