About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
