Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Randomize
