I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I didn't notice because vodka
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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