yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
is this the sara with the beer cane?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
