My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
