Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
