apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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