the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
