and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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