Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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