He asked to "fluff my boner.."
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
