I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
