It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
