You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
