i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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