In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Of course I have a pirate flag
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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