I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
