Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
