I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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