He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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