honey bunches of taint.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
and she was petting her beer can
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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