Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
