two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
