I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
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