I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
