I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Randomize
