I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
