Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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