when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
