3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Everything about him screamed your future.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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